It is hard to carry around a heavy weight wherever you go. Initially it feels justified to do so. It feels you have the right to carry around your boulder and show how much it is difficult to do so. However, in all honesty, you can throw it away anytime you want. But how?
Well, I don’t really know. I ask that to myself several times in endless moments of introspection. These late night thoughts keep me up until the dawn. Owning up to your actions and ruminating on the events are such difficult moments and it is all too tempting to just deceive yourself with the thoughts that it doesn’t matter or that you were right (were you really?).
How do you throw that boulder away? When do you throw it away? Is it okay to forget? Is it really forgetting or is it coping and adjusting? Who are you doing this for? What are the consequences?
One question opens up doors to more questions. It becomes a series of emotions that snowballs upon each other. In the end, how are we supposed to act – according to our own beliefs or according to what majority subscribes? Is there some kind of compromise (if that is even a plausible option)?
For now, I somehow arrived at the answer which opened the door to the path of least resistance. Some events, people, or circumstances are like unyielding rocks, and you can spend your whole lifetime beating it up but the act itself changes you as much as it changes the obstacle. The question is, do I think the change it will bring me contribute to the kind of person I aspire to be or bring me closer to my goals and live out my life according to the things I value. If yes, then continue. If no, then follow the path of least resistance.
The Traveling Doctor 